Releasing the weight is saving my life right now. I am talking more than losing weight. I am talking about an absolute weight transformation.
I have been battling a weight issue for quite sometime. I’m actually shocked that I am putting this in print for many to read. It is interesting how I pretend that I did not have an issue, but the more I would go clothes shopping I had to come to the truth that I was, in fact, gaining weight. I will never forget the day I saw the rear side of me as I walked passed a mirror in a department store. I said to myself, “That’s disgusting!” I realized that I had an issue to contend with. Why was I thinking one thing when in fact something else was going on?
First, let’s start with the perception of oneself. I was dying on the inside dealing with discrimination along with confronting racial and social injustices on a regular basis. With my fight, which I chose, I was dealing with my emotions that led to eating emotionally. Hell…I was killing myself all because of what I was allowing others to do to me.
Second, let’s be real and talk about our wounds. I have been wounded. Have you? For me, wounds were being developed, as I would fight being discriminated against. The more I spoke out the more I realized how this fight was something I had to deal with on my own. Yes, I had family support, however, the people I knew and grew to love…the very ones I considered friends became silent the moment I decided to take a stand. The more I would take my position to fight the battle the more I would hold onto the hurt feelings of seeing others step away and leave me to battle on my own. I would internalize my feelings, and that is when I started to pack on the weight.
I am not simply speaking of adding bad fat cells; I am also speaking of the weight of the stress that was weighing me down. I was carrying around the weight of concerns, and wounds which were growing deeper by the day. Have you been there? Can you relate? Losing sleep at night, and walking the floors processing what was happening and why. I was making decisions that were not welcomed by many. I was standing against what many would call the Christian norm. I believed that I had to stand on my principles and do what was best for me. Because of my own self-awareness, living my true self is important. I could not allow others, who did not agree with who I am as a woman, wife, and mother diminish my personhood.
But, the weight on my body increased. The scale was out of control. Is this me? Absolutely it was, and still is to some degree. I had to put things aside and seek God for clarity of what exactly was going on. As I sought the Lord I developed a deeper understanding of who God is. Much more than a mere superficial glance; I was able to recognize where I had placed God in my daily life. I had placed Him on the shelf. I had to get in God’s presence and get reacquainted once more. Being in His presence and recognizing when He is drawing me closer helped me take a long look in the mirror. I had to gain an authentic evaluation of myself. I had to acknowledge my faults without guilt or shame.
Thirdly, I had to take a stand without compromising my identity in Christ and do something. I started praying…heck…I was begging. Lord, help me. In one of those unusual times of hearing Him audibly, he said, “Gail, pray to lose.” That was odd, however, I listened. I decided to be obedient. I started praying. As I prayed a specific prayer strategy I started losing. No, not the weight initially, but the stress, the wounds started to heal. My advocacy work is still a burden, but I am able to balance it without allowing the weight to be more than I can bear. I take on the burdens of Jesus, which are easy and light, and I place my burdens on the Lord.
All of this is about releasing my weight, however, there is also a point of transformation that one must experience to get a true understanding of who Christ is. He is my lifeline. I decided to commune with God on another level. I did exactly as God had instructed. Each morning I pray specifically for my health, and each morning God gives me instructions. Other than walking I have not exercised. I have not changed the food I eat. Within the first week of praying something happened. I started seeing my clothes fit differently. They were loose. I jumped on the scale and found I had dropped a few pounds. What joy I had when I found myself jean shopping because the jeans I had on no longer fit. They are too big. It is not a miracle, it is that I decided to be obedient and pray. I had to do something to save my life.
This is my breakthrough! I now experience life abundantly! I started doing the very thing I do for others and started praying for myself. God has shown me that weight loss is more than dropping the pounds. Through prayer, He is teaching me how to release the weight of stress, worry, concerns, burdens, wounds, and to live my life filled with joy. I have my life jacket of prayer on, and this prayer strategy is saving my life.
Pray to Lose works! Now it’s your turn. www.Gaildudley.com