I Can’t Breathe
The news cycle over the last 24 hours has been too much to bear.
My God, somebody make it stop. Please!
My breath has been slipping away for a while now, but at least I am able to grasp for air and keep on fighting for justice.
Ahmaud Arbery and the video of him being lynched still plays in my head. It was Mother’s Day when I did my jog in honor of his birthday and decided to spend the day praying for his mother. Just when I thought I could come up for air…
I be damned if now I have to lament my way through the video of George Floyd, who was murdered while having a knee lodged against his neck by a white man cutting off his oxygen. Mr. Floyd told him, “I can’t breathe.”
I. Watched. The. Entire. Video. #iCantBreathe
What the…. (yeah, you get the picture. I really want to drop that word right here.)
Many nights I am unable to sleep thinking about my Black husband, son, father, brother, brothers-in-law, nephews, and the Black male friends in my life. When my cellphone rings late night or early morning during the time my Do Not Disturb is activated, I grab my chest, hoping that the call is not news that one of the Black males in my life has died in the hands of someone white.
There, I said it. No, I do not feel any better saying those words, but I have danced around my white friends for a long time. I was trying to comfort them amid the horrific atmosphere I have had to live with for many years. I find myself assuring them that I do not see them as a part of the problem and do not fault them for the blatant racism and injustices of Black people. As I am comforting them, I am becoming angrier and angrier because they should be consoling me and standing up for me, and my Blackness using #BlackLivesMatter without having to hear all lives matters. What the hell!
I want to scream. Today was not a good day. All of my emotions have surfaced. Who’s going to do something? This post is not about likes or follows. I’m asking you if you will take a stand with Black folks in America who are losing their lives because of the color of our skin.
This is a problem with the system. Will you come from behind what’s deemed as politically correct and write legislation to help fix the system? Will you help expose those who are racist, waiting for the opportunity to call the cops on someone Black?
I am over talking about racism, yet I have to keep the conversation going.
Today’s blog post is for my white friends and family. What are you going to do? Will you stand with us for justice beyond making a social media post telling us that your thoughts and prayers are with us? Will you have a face to face conversation with your white friends who continues the narrative that “racism is dead” or throw out “what about blacks who kill other blacks” or whatever saying out there to help soothe them and allow them to go on about their day?
Yes, I want you to feel what I am feeling as a woman, wife, and mother of Black males. I desire you to pray while calling out to the Lord with tears streaming down your face as I do as a Christian woman. I implore you to step inside my shoes and look through my lenses and see what I see. I want you to feel your heart racing when the phone rings at night. I want you to witness what it is like without having white privilege. Yes, I want you to be just as tired as we are, and just as exhausted as we are on a daily basis.
You can no longer decide when you will speak out. Either you are with us, or you are against us.
…and let us not forget the latest Karen. #AmyCooper who lost her job and her dog, but George Floyd lost his life. #BlackLivesMatter #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd
Finally, no. I will not apology for how I am feeling right now.
Please, use the comment section and tell me how you will stand up and become an authentic ally for Black people.